Petty Maids All in a Row
August 20, 2017
Running time
Production code
Flash sideways
Written by
Directed by
Also Starring
Archive footage

"Petty Maids All in a Row" is the 34th episode of Devious Butlers.


Quite contrary to Mary's musings that Rena lacks independence, he finds himself having to urgently rely on his own skills as a detective when the Devious Butler sends him a gruesome message. Theresa and Liz's lives remain hanging in the balance, while the latter's lover, prior to her inkling that anything's wrong, continues to try and help Jennifer alongside Ben, who remains Val's puppet for as long as she's on bed-rest. Ali seeks help from Josh, whose maternal reunion may provide answers for both her conundrum and the matter of what he wants to do to move on with his life, and Tyson moves in at a very stressful time for Joe.



The mail man is seen drifting from house to house on Fanon Drive while Maria Solano makes her way across the street, in her usual glamorous garb, to the Montgomery place. As she runs her hands through her thick and glossy hair, the camera moves around her head and we are taken back to the start of all this exoticism.
Mary, looking considerably less enriched, sighing with sadness at a poor review for her first film, Double Benetration, and removing the 'DB' bracelet that had sprung from it as merchandise. She then chants to herself that she's gonna have to get some better ideas. She picks up the phone, thinking about calling someone; asking them for their help. But she then puts it down, wanting to do this alone.
Mary, looking considerably more enriched, sighing with relief at a review for another film she's made several successes later, with the critics praising her deft plotting and on-point twists. She practically blushes, tossing the newspaper aside onto a pile in her old penthouse of a thousand other fantastic reviews.
And Mary, the best part of a year ago, sighing with frustration as she feels she needs yet another amazing idea for her next film. It's then that, on her iPad, she receives pictures from her assistant Jackson of Elizabeth Davis and Alison Del Barrio kissing (see "The Peasant and the Devious"). Inspiration immediately strikes, and before even contacting Liz about the role she already has in mind, she straightaway starts working on a script, typing out the title page on her laptop in front of her: No Rest for the Devious.
In the present, Mary knocks on the door to the Montgomery house, expecting her boyfriend to answer and be ready for the breakfast date they had planned; but it takes a while for the door to open and, when it does, Rena is standing there in a tank top and a pair of boxers, clearly having overslept. "Oh... hey, Mary," he greets with an embarrassed little smile, and Mary removes her sunglasses in order to scowl at him a little. "You're not ready," is all she has to say, and Rena looks down at himself and responds, "Oh, yeah, would ya' look at that... um, come in?" Mary rolls her eyes, heading on into the house, and Rena apologizes for having overslept, but he promises that he didn't forget about their plans - "Normally I get woken up by Mrs. Montgomery yelling at me to go clean something, or Theresa sneaking back home at whatever o'clock in the morning, but they're both busy elsewhere it seems, so, here I am." "You can't wake yourself up?" Mary questions, rather annoyed, and Rena just sort of shrugs, to which she says, "For goodness' sake, Rena, you really have to start taking charge of yourself. Being more independent." "How am I not independent?" Rena questions, "I'm the most self-involved person I know." "You rely on someone else to put a roof over your head." "So it's not okay to accept a little help every now and then?" She ignores him, listing off further, "You rely on me to make you a star, you can't even set an alarm on your phone, it seems... it's just... do you think I got where I am by lazing around? I mean, I have a film that's wrapping up its post-pro right now; I'm incredibly busy; it took a mondo amount of organizing to even get these few hours away from the studio in order to come and have breakfast with you... and here you are. You don't even have pants on." "Neither do you!" "I'm wearing a dress..." "Some excuse," he mutters sulkily, and then, "I did set an alarm, by the way, it's just I can't remember where I put my phone, so..." He then begins rifling through some cushions while Mary stands there, rolling her eyes a little more, and eventually Rena discovers it under half a hot-pocket he was eating the night before. "Aha!" he exclaims, reading what's on the screen, "Text from Joe. Apparently he wants to meet up urgently. Meh, it can wait. So, where you wanna go grab breakfast?" "Forget it," Mary sighs, "I should be in the editing room anyway." "How can your movie already be in post-pro anyway?" Rena wonders, pondering this. "Because I work hard and get things done quickly," Mary responds, "Learn from that? Are you even still working on your screenplay?" "I changed a word or two on the first couple pages..." Rena admits, "But it's hard to plot things. Hey, what's your movie even about?" "You're asking that now?" Rena shrugs though. "Look, just... get yourself together a little bit," Mary advises, "I'll try and rearrange our date." "We can still go to breakfast!" Rena exclaims, scared he's upset his girlfriend, "I just need to find Theresa and ask her to do some cleaning so that Silvia doesn't bite my head off like you are now and then... hey, where's the fire poker?" Mary doesn't know how to respond, but eventually says, "No, take your time. Goodness knows I need to." "What does that mean?" "See you later, Rena," Mary promises, opening the door, and Rena follows her out, no shame in his underwear. "Go back inside," the writer/director/producer advises, then noticing his mailbox and telling him, "You've got mail, by the way." "Mary!" Rena tries calling after her, but she's already walking back to the studio, and Rena sighs sadly, then just deciding to pack in his attempt to summon her back and fetch the mail. Curiously, there's a rather fat envelope in there addressed to him. Shrugging, Rena tears it open to find... Mary turns back around, thanks to the very feminine scream suddenly emanating from her boyfriend. She runs back, worried, about to ask what's wrong, but she doesn't have to. She looks down to see what's fallen out of the envelope he's just dropped - a human finger, belonging to a woman. "What the...?" Mary starts, then leaning down and picking up the scrappy little note protruding from the envelope. Rena can't, because he's busy hyperventilating, and then her eyes widen and he turns the note around for him to read. "Shame your sister's a better detective than you are. LOL. --The Devious Butler ^^". Rena then looks back down at the severed finger, realizing that it belongs to Theresa, and shrieks. "I guess I better go get dressed..." he utters in shock.


Act I

Josh and Ben are sat nervously at the kitchen table of Joanna's place as Silvia whips up her infamous iced tea in the background, bringing the pitcher over to them and pouring each a glass, as well as two others. "Thanks," Josh says, downing it in an instant. "This can't be good, right?" Ben questions, "Joe was arrested! Should we really all be together right now?" "Have some tea," Silvia instructs, "It'll calm your nerves." Ben does, and it indeed does. However, his nerves go de-calmed when the door to the Winters' mansion (it really does sound better than "DeWar mansion", doesn't it?) opens up, and Joe and Joanna make their way inside, arms locked as Joanna escorts her freaked out husband to the kitchen. Josh and Ben each stand, but Joanna motions that they're fine. "Everything is going to be fine," she makes clear. "The bail was set low, so surely that must be a good sign?" Silvia inquires, but Joanna shakes her head. "No, that just means my late husband was loaded." Josh frowns at the mention of Matthew, not that anyone really notices due to more pressing matters. "Okay, well... you didn't do it," Silvia says to her son, "surely the judge will see that." The butlers and Joanna exchange a look with Joe though, which Silvia is quick to pick up on. "Oh! Oh..." "Yeah..." Joe exclaims, to which Silvia sighs, "I suppose it's good that one of us did the honors. Should I ask why?" "He'll fill you in later," Ben speaks up, turning to Joe, "Now what is it they even had on you?" Silvia hands out glasses of tea to both her son and daughter-in-law, the latter of which pulls a flask out of her purse to add to her iced beverage. "Really?" Ben acknowledges the flask, "I thought you were better than that." "These are very trying times, Benjamin," Joanna says in disdain, downing the glass. "Apparently a fingerprint was found on her body. I don't know how though, or at least why this isn't something they came after me for sooner," Joe answers, which Joanna goes on to say, "This all screams Nadia." "Again with this Nadia chick. Someone gonna fill me in on her too?" Silvia begs. "Later," Josh says, now turning to Joanna, "Does this mean Nadia has some sort of influence on the town's dumbass cops?" "Nadia has influence everywhere," Joanna makes clear, revealing that she has support all across the world; she's most likely stationed some of her followers in Wikerly Hills due to the likes of them. "This doesn't sound good," Ben exclaims, "and I already have enough on my plate right now with Val." "Listen, guys, let's all just relax right now, okay?" Joe speaks up, "Right now the police are just looking at me." "But how long will it take for them to look at us?" Josh wonders, "Things have only just gotten back to normal." "Oh please, nothing in this town has been normal since Jose died," Ben points out, which everyone in the room is able to agree with except Silvia ("Who the hell is Jose?" "We'll fill you in later."). "Also, where the hell is Rena?" Josh wonders, to which the others shrug. However, before being able to press on this any further, the sound of the front door is heard opening, and a multitude of bags are dropped on the floor. "Joe?" a voice calls out, and so all five accomplices to murder make their way to the front. There, standing, is none other than Tyson Jepsen. "Joe! Hiiiiii!" he greets, reminding Joe at the worst possible time he has a disabled brother who exists. "I'll whip up some more tea," Silvia exclaims, sensing things have just gotten more complicated.

"Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God," Rena is breathing back at the Montgomery house, now dressed and sitting on the couch, Theresa's finger having been set down in an icebox on the coffee table. "Stop saying that," Mary tells him, still there, "Panicking isn't going to help." Rena takes one large indraught, and then his gaze goes to the ice box, and he asks, "Do you think they'll be able to... to... to reattach--?" "I don't know," Mary admits, "But definitely not if we don't get to finding her, immediately." "Don't you have work to do?" Rena questions, and she gives him a look, assuring, "This is more important." Rena gives a nod of thanks, and then thinks about where the Devious Butler may have taken her; "If she went out again," he begins, "Then he could've struck at... a-a nightclub, or... or..." And then he stops suddenly, and Mary, curious and alarmed, asks, "What? What is it?"
We flash back to one of Rena and Theresa's last conversations before their falling out. "What exactly did you get up to last night?" "I... went out," she responds. "Out?" Rena raises an eyebrow. Theresa nods, and her brother sighs, "Tells me a lot. I really need to put a tracker on your phone or something." (see "Eye of the Dryer")
"Don't wake him," Theresa yells through whisper, inspecting the coffee table and seeing two things laid out on it - the fire poker used to stab Val and her cell phone. "Bastard took my phone," Theresa hisses some, snatching it back (see "Eye of the Dryer").
"Her phone," Rena goes on. "What do you mean? What about her phone?" Mary wonders, and Rena, already having teared up a little, is muttering, "After we... we fell out... oh, my God, I can't believe we ended things on a fight, what if we..." "The phone," Mary snaps, trying to get him back on track, and Rena is able to pull himself together long enough to explain that, after their fight, she dropped her phone.
We flash back to Rena storming away from Theresa, then looking somewhat guilty and turning back around, only she isn't there anymore - but her phone is, and so he snatches it up.
"I put this tracker in it," he explains, "This app. I... I can track her with my phone... assuming she's... she's..." "Use it then," Mary snaps, wanting to kick his ass into gear, and Rena nods, taking out his own phone, again ignoring the text from Joe, and begins to find Theresa GPS style - a blip on a map that they must follow. "That's good," Mary nods, staring down at it, "I should get one for you. Let's go."

Returning home from meeting the butlers at Joanna's place, Ben hears laughing coming from a nearby room. Upon investigation, he finds that it's Ali and Jennifer, having a nice time talking about who knows what. "Oh, hey, Ben," Ali greets when seeing the butler in the doorway, and she invites him to join them. Ben takes a seat adjacent, and turns to Jennifer. "It's nice to see you're getting on well," he says to his former wife, and she comments that the mansion's really nice. "Neva got to give meself a propa house tour because... ye know." Ben and Ali both nod, awkwardly, but Jennifer continues, "Anyways, ay be lookin' for a job soon. Ali helpin' me with me resume. Never done one before. Hell, never worked a day in me life, really." Ben thinks back, realizing that this is true; he was always the breadwinner of the family. "So what kind of job are you looking for?" he wonders, and Jennifer shrugs, "Probably summit small like what Ben does. I mean, are there really other jobs in this town that aren't cleaning houses or being rich with no explanation?" Ben and Ali both shrug, not really giving it much thought. "Oh, but speaking of maids," Ali then remembers, turning to the butler, "the hospital called to say that Valentina's being discharged today." "Oh, right..." Ben recalls, "I've not seen her for a while." "Dr. Strange said she's supposed to be on permanent bed-rest until the babies--" Ali quickly realizes her error, "baby... is born." There's a moment of silence before Ben sighs, "Well, I'll probably have to take care of her. I'm sure Kathryn will be of no help." Ali feels sorry for her friend, asking if there's anything she can do to help. "Me too," Jennifer speaks up, "ya need help any, let me know." "Thanks, both of you," Ben exclaims, "but I've got this. Bringing other people around Val isn't a good idea in general, but now more than ever." Ali can't help but agree with that remark, and she wishes him luck. "Ay, good luck," Jennifer exclaims as well, and Ben nods, seeing fit to set off.

"Thanks for lending me your keys," Josh tells Joanna as he exits her and Joe's place, and she assures him that it's no problem, and to call her if he needs anything. "Thanks for the offer," Josh says, but then there's a crash from inside due to Tyson existing so hard, and the British butler adds, "but you sorta have your hands full right now." Joanna nods. "But... still," she says, before wishing him good luck and retreating indoors. Josh then approaches his boss' car, at which point he himself is approached from down the street by none other than Alison Del Barrio. "Josh," she addresses, and he whips his head round to see her, a little surprised that she even knows his name. "Oh, hi Ms. Del Barrio," he greets, to which she says, "Please, call me Ali." "Okay, Ali," Josh nods, "Do you, um, need me to let you in or something? Because Joanna and Joe are prett--" "No, it's you I wanted to talk to," Ali tells him, smiling, and Josh is a little taken aback, telling her, "Oh... alright. What can I do you for? Though I must warn you I'm about to head off somewhere." "Oh I won't keep you," Ali promises, "It's just, Maria Solano was telling me how you helped her get that gardener, and, well, Ben's really distracted right now," Josh can't tell where this is going at all, "because of all the Val stuff, so he's not really on point, cleaning-wise, and my mansion's so big it normally needs two servants anyway, and I'm guessing you heard about Rochelle Little, and--" Josh winces at this, and begs that Ali please get to her point. "Right," she breathes, a little flustered, "I was just wondering if you could, maybe, recommend a butler? Or a maid? Or something?" Josh isn't quite sure what to say at this, but eventually tells the rich woman, "I helped Juan get that job... but it's not, like, a thing." "Oh," says Ali, "I'm, uh, sorry for bothering you then. Have fun wherever you're going." "That's likely..." Josh murmurs to himself as Ali nips off back to her house, and then he gets into Joanna's car and drives. He's driving for several minutes before pulling up outside a mansion in another part of town, reading the address given to him by Juan to ensure to himself that it's the correct one. It is. Right now, he is most definitely parked outside the new home of his semi-estranged mother, Regina Gibbons. He takes a deep breath, and begins to wonder whether or not this is even a good idea, clearly contemplating the matter of even stepping out of the car and walking up to the door; of even letting the woman who bore him know that he stopped by. Eventually, he shakes his head, his foot beginning to drift towards the gas pedal, hovering there for a moment. And then the decision is taken out of his hands. He hovers for too long, and soon the door to the Gibbons mansion opens, and Josh tries ducking under the window but there isn't quite enough space to hide. His mother doesn't notice him at first though, because right now she is busy seeing out one Miss Juanita Kwon. "Sorry," Regina tells her, "I just don't think you're right for the job." "Right for jawb?!" Juanita exclaims, offended, "I cook! I clean! I make figurines out of rice! I offer my Empress-body for affair! What more you want, lady?!" "You can only cook a fusion of two regimes?" Regina recaps, looking over the maid's resume, but Juanita soon snatches that away from her and yells, "Eat this!" before screwing the paper up and swallowing it whole. "Kwon Mexiental too good for you!" she decides, storming away, and Regina, overwhelmed by the end to this interview, says, "Goodbye then, dear..." As Juanita is storming out of the grounds, she sees Josh in his car and screeches, "She already say no to me! She no hire you! Leave!" And then she kicks Joanna's car, and Josh gives a jolt of panic before she continues storming away, because this has now attracted the attention of Regina. She was about to head back inside, but now she's approaching the car, and raps on the window when she notices her son is inside. Josh winds the window down. "Hey, mum..." he greets awkwardly. "Joshie?!" Regina exclaims, stunned but happy, "Oh, my, um - come inside!" "I don't know if I'm gonna do that, mum," Josh admits, to which she, confused, responds, "But you came all the way down here..." "Because I wanted to know... why the hell are you still in town?" He doesn't leave the car, and she has to crane a little to look him in the eyes. When she fails to reply, he adds, "I thought I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with you." "But you're here--" "To ask you to leave! Please!" "Really?" Regina raises an eyebrow, "You drove to my house just to tell me to vacate it? That's crazy. You can't j--" "Don't call me crazy!" Josh barks. "You're right," Regina nods, "Wrong choice of words. I heard about your recovery. I'm so proud of--" "Proud? You don't get to be 'proud' of me! You relinquished that right when you kicked me out of your last house!" "Josh, please, this is ridiculous, if you just come in--" "Go on back to England, Regina," Josh growls, "You don't belong here." And then he hits the gas and goes, with even more speed than even Joanna puts into that old vehicle, damn near nearly running Juanita Kwon down as he goes. Regina appears less than heartened. It doesn't help that Juanita's shoe soon collides with her head. "Could I get shoe back?" Juanita asks, skulking back into the grounds, "It genuine taco skin." Regina just shoots her a look and turns around. Juanita takes a bite out of her shoe before reapplying it.

The angel wing engravings of the Greenburg Funeral Home & Crematorium entrance are zoomed in upon as we move over to the graveyard at its side, where Rochelle Little's coffin is currently being lowered back into its grave. Rena and Mary notice this as they head onto the grass where the many rows of graves are set up, the former still following a blip on his phone in the hopes of tracking down his nine-fingered sister. "I don't see her anywhere," Rena grumbles as he looks around the graveyard, apparently close, seeing only the men who are working on reburying Rochelle. "Wait a second," Rena utters, noticing this, "Why are they burying her again?" "Does it matter?" Mary asks, but Rena is a little panic-y, of course having neglected to go over and hear the news that Joe was arrested for her murder. "Focus on the investigation at hand," Mary suggests, scanning the graveyard herself and huffing, "We should have gotten here sooner." "Well maybe I would have set off sooner if you hadn't have come at me all angry and whatnot," Rena snaps. "I wasn't 'angry'," Mary assures, her voice cool, "Just... disappointed." "Gee, sorry, Mom," Rena responds, and Mary gives him a look which makes him add, "-ia Solano." "Nice save," she says, rolling her eyes, and Rena again snaps, "See? Angry. Now where is Theresa?" the two of them are still moving, "According to this she's right--" And then he sees it - Theresa's phone resting in the grass. "Oh, my God!" Rena exclaims, handing Mary his own phone so that he may dive down to scoop up his sister's, "She was here, she was-- dammit, it's out of battery!" he discovers as he tries to turn it on, "Right after I discovered her passcode to install that damn app! UGH!" He moves forward and kicks Rochelle's gravestone, severely paining his own foot, and then he apologizes to the men currently working around it, and Mary begs him to calm down. "You just need to get somewhere you can charge it and then perhaps..." her voice trails off in his head, because he's noticed something by Rochelle's grave too. He dives down to scoop that up as well, and Mary, stopping mid-sentence, asks him what it is. "It's a chipped piece of nail," Rena reveals, holding up the green-painted piece of Liz, "Liz's." "Hmph. And how do you know it's Liz's?" Mary asks, annoyed that he apparently knows his old affair buddy's accessories so well, and Rena flashes back... Josh's welcome home party, where Liz jokingly dug her fingernails into his arm to give a little taste of S&M fun for old times' sake (see "Manservant in the Mirror"). They're the same shade of green as the chipped-off one Rena has just found in the graveyard.
"Always a favored color of hers..." Rena utters, remembering the way those same nails would wrap themselves around the handle part of a whip, though of course he doesn't vocalize this to the already jealous Mary. "I need to go and see Liz," Rena tells her, "If she was with Theresa, she might know something." "Well, you can do that part alone," Mary tells him, thrusting his own phone back into his hand, "And don't forget this." Rena pockets the two phones and holds the nail up to the light, telling himself, "Time to go a-knockin' on Liz's door, I guess..."
Meanwhile, oblivious to either of them, mere feet away, Liz is sitting underground, tied to a chair in the secret lair of the Devious Butlers. A couple of the serial killers - dressed in their suits with their rubber masks with twisted smiles - are standing in front of her, apparently taking joy in how disheveled she looks, while another couple are looking down at an even more disheveled-looking Theresa - who already has less than nine fingers. "Please..." Theresa begs weakly as she notices another one take out a steak knife, "No more... my brother won't ever find you... he won't bother you... he..." she barely has the strength to go on, and the Butler begins to approach her. "Don't hurt her again," Liz begs, "Come on, take something from me." This was very hard for her to say, and part of her - a small part - is relieved when the Devious Butlers seem not to take any notice of her. One Butler points to Theresa holding up one finger. At first, they think they're mocking her not having said finger, but then they point to Liz and hold up two fingers - Liz is second on this menu of torture of taunts. And then they start to cut off Theresa's left ear, and both her and Liz's screams fill the chamber.

Act II

Kathryn Kappelletti enters the Von Trump place, arriving home from her death moon in the South of France. "Bonjour, bitches," she exclaims, assuming that there's at least someone in her mansion right now, "I'm home, and you all better care." She goes to close the door behind her, but finds it stopped when a man's foot is lodged in the way. In comes Ben, carrying with him a few bags of groceries and some blankets. "What the hell are you?" Kathryn asks, to which Ben excuses himself, making his way past Kathryn and into the main living area. The couch has been pushed out of the way so that a bed could be put in its place, with Valentina currently resting in it in front of Kathryn's big screen TV. Ben puts the groceries down next to his babymama while covering her in the blankets. Kathryn just blinks at the sight. "Um... why?" she asks, but as Ben goes to answer, she puts up her hand, "Actually, never mind. I really don't care. Val, be a dear and whip me up a cocktail. I'll be out by the pool." With that, Kathryn leaves the two, and Val glares at Ben who takes the hint. "Yeah, I got it," he says, in regards to Kathryn's request, though first taking out some of the groceries he picked up. "Your ice cream," he says, handing Val a large tub of mint chocolate chip, as well as a spoon. Without saying anything, Val digs the spoon into the tub and starts eating. Ben lines up the other miscellaneous snacks next to Val, including numerous kinds of chips and sweets. As Val eats her ice cream though, she starts to become a little agitated. "My feet are cold," she says, and Ben looks to see that the blanket isn't covering her feet all the way. The butler goes to pull the blanket down some in order to tuck it in. Once all appears well, however, Val promptly kicks the blanket up. "I didn't ask for you to tuck it in," she points out, "I don't like that. It makes me feel trapped." "Well what is it you'd like for me to do then?" Ben inquires, to which Val replies, "Get me a pair of pink fuzzy socks." Sighing, Ben heads over to the area where all of Val's clothes are currently being kept. When digging around, he soon discovers her socks. "I only see purple," he says, but Val shakes her head. "No, I want pink." "Well you don't have pink." "Then go out and get pink," she exclaims, as if the solution was obvious. Ben goes to argue this but ultimately decides that it would be easier if he just didn't. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" he seethes, and Val thinks for a minute. "Fluff my pillow," she demands, sitting up so that Ben can complete the request. As Ben does his best to fluff the pillow though, Val rolls her eyes. "Ugh, not like that, you moron," she exclaims, and then Kathryn is heard shouting, "Where is my damn cocktail?! The service in the South of France was way better than this, and the French are like awful known to be the absolute worst people." Ben goes to complete Kathryn's request now, but Val tells him to hold up. "Speaking of Frenchness, you know what would be really good right now?" Val has an idea, to Ben's dismay, "Escargot paella. My parents had it on their first date. A mixture of their two backgrounds. Cute story, huh? Gemme." "And how am I supposed to get you escargot paella?" Ben questions, not even entirely sure what that is. "I don't know," Val shrugs, "Sounds like a you problem." "How about I whip you up something else," Ben suggests, but Val tuts, shaking her head, "Are you really going to deny me right now?" she exclaims, "Right after some maniac stabbed me in the belly and murdered one of my babies?" Ben is taken aback by the way in which his babymama would address said event. "Val..." he utters, discomforted. "As if you haven't treated me poorly enough," she continues, "Sad." "I... I'll see what I can do..." Ben exclaims, cautiously stepping away from his babymama, and ever-so-devious grin spreading across her face.

"Is it ready yet?" Tyson groans, sitting at the kitchen table while Joe and Joanna are standing, talking by the stove. "In a sec, dear," Joanna says to the retard, preparing him a grilled cheese sandwich. "Uggggghhhhh," Tyson moans and Joe, seeing that Joanna is quickly becoming frustrated, tells his foster brother that if he doesn't shut up then he won't get a cookie for dessert. Instantly, Tyson quiets down, and Joe turns his attention back to his wife. "So what are we gonna do?" he wonders, "Kathryn's back from her death moon and is working to drag my name through the mud. No lawyer in town will dare represent me now." Joanna puts the plate with grilled cheese down in front of Tyson, though first warning him to let it cool off for a minute because it's hot. Tyson nods but then immediately forgets and takes a bite of the sandwich. He instantly burns his mouth. Joe and Joanna ignore him because ugh. "You're actually in luck," Joanna reveals, "Turns out you married a defense attorney." "Huh?" Joe questions, and his wife goes on to reveal, "Well, I'm not a lawyer... but Joanna is. Turns out my dear sister went to law school; it's how she and Matthew met, actually, in college and stuff, while she was getting her degree. Found the diplomas when I was searching for my something blue." "Huh," Joe utters, realizing that this in fact makes sense, as the real Joanna did go to college, and thus must have been majoring in something, "Well good for her." Joanna nods at this, but Joe is still left wondering. "Sure, Joanna might've been good at practicing law... but how good is Emilie?" Our Joanna contemplates this for a minute, but then shrugs, "I'm sure I'll do fine. I mean, I've always been an expert negotiator."
In a flash to Italy of the past, we're taken back to Nadia's headquarters where she and Emilie currently in a hot tub with the three Kappelletti brothers. "No, no, no, this just is not going to do," Emilie exclaims, to which Kevin barks, "But we had a deal!" "Our deal was--" Nadia tries, but Emilie cuts her partner off, insisting she let her do the talking. Nadia nods, and Emilie turns back to Kevin. "Our deal was to make the three of you stars, and we will hold up our end of the deal." "Then when is our band The Kappelletti Brothers gonna take off?! We should be taking the world by storm with our charming lyrics and good looks," the youngest Kappelletti brother speaks up, to which Emilie rolls her eyes, "Shut up, Kerwin, and let the grown ups talk." "Ooooh, burn!" Killian exclaims, and Kerwin thumps his brother in the forehead. Kevin is now the one to roll his eyes at his brothers' shenanigans, apologizing to Emilie on their behalf, but nonetheless questions when their careers are going to take off. "You did promise us," he re-affirms, and Emilie agrees that she did, "But the things is, hun... you and your brothers lack any and all talent." "Excuse me?!" Kevin screams, and Emilie goes on, "Listen, your song lyrics are like soooo bad; your voices are average at best; and only two out of three of you are attractive." "Hey!" Kerwin barks, believing that last insult to be directed at him, and Emilie, growls, "For crying out loud, piss off, Kerwin!" She turns her attention back to Kevin, exclaiming, "I can make the three of you stars, but being musicians is definitely out of the question." "Then what do you propose?" the eldest Kappelletti inquires, to which Emilie replies: "Hear me out: mediocre reality stars. Just be famous for absolutely no reason at all. The world will eat you up. The majority of you are attractive and, well, the other one is still rich so there's that. Everyone will know your name, and you won't have to do a damn thing." "Take the deal," Nadia speaks up, "It really is your best bet. Don't make things difficult." Kevin exchanges a look with his two brothers, the three of them silently coming to a decision. Kevin turns back to Emilie: "Deal," he exclaims.
In the present, Joanna is seen fawning over her memory, but finally snaps out of it when Tyson holds up his plate. "Finished," he exclaims, but Joanna raises an eyebrow, "K, and what do you expect me to do?" she questions, not liking that Tyson seems to expect her to clean up after him, "Go learn to work the dishwasher." Joe, however, does not like the idea of Tyson operating a piece of machinery on his own, and so he takes the plate from him to go clean himself. Joanna rolls her eyes at this, while Tyson smiles and leaves to go play with his toys. "Anyway," she exclaims, "first thing we need to do use your upstanding character as defense that you could never commit a murder... before this preliminary becomes an actual trial." "It's all so soon..." Joe utters, "Shouldn't it take longer than this?" "It should, but this is Wikerly Hills and therefore it doesn't. Time is essence, and Nadia may very well be pulling the strings for all we know by now. Point is, who can we get to speak up for you?" Joe starts to think. "Well, first off there's my friends." Joanna nods at this, recalling they would know him better than anyone, having witnessed him firsthand unveil multiple crimes in Wikerly Hills. "Oh, and of course my mother. She'd definitely wanna help as best she could." "Anyone not so closely related?" Joanna wonders, and so Joe thinks further. He lets out a sigh: "There's Aliza, I suppose." "Would she not on Rochelle's side?" But Joe reminds his wife that he exposed to her all of her mother's lies and crimes. "Well if you can swing that then you'll definitely earn yourself some points," Joanna says, fetching herself a bottle of wine from the now childproof cupboard. "I assume you don't want any?" she inquires of her husband who shakes his head. Joanna shrugs, downing the bottle. "Is this you saying that things aren't looking too good for me?" Joe questions, but Joanna shakes her head, insisting she was just thirsty, "Though... things could be better..." Joe sighs at this, but he and his wife are unable to discuss further when Tyson rejoins them. "Joooooe, can we go to the toystore later?" he asks of his foster brother, "I wanna get more trains to practice my engineering on. I'm really good at putting the parts all together now. I even fixed a speaker that makes the whistle-y noises." Joe looks up at Joanna, who nods, turning to Tyson, "Joe would love to go with you. Have some bonding time," she insists, "It's a good way to get your mind off things." Tyson's face lights up at this, and the husband and wife exchange a look before Joe sets off behind his mentally disabled bro. With her husband gone though, Joanna lets out a massive sigh before downing the bottle of wine further.

Rena, having parted ways from Mary, is seen approaching the Del Barrio mansion and notices that one of the boulders which normally lines the driveway has rolled on out of position from when Liz kicked it. He finds this strange, raising an eyebrow, but proceeds to the door nonetheless, knocking hard. "Liz," he cries out between knocks, "Liz!" However, it is Ali who answers, and she looks disappointed to see Rena. "Oh..." she utters, "It's Rena, right? Sorry to sound disappointed, but I thought you were my girlfriend, announcing her own return." "It's actually your girlfriend I'm looking for," Rena responds, "What do you mean return? Where is she?" "I don't know," Ali admits, "I think I must have offended her yesterday because she never came home. And she's not returning my calls. I'm getting a little worried to tell you the truth." "Uh oh," Rena shivers. "Uh oh? What's uh oh?" "She was with Theresa," Rena explains, handing Ali her girlfriend's fingernail chipping, and Ali appears confused, "What? You mean she cheated on me with Theresa? 'Cause I don't think Liz would reall--" "No," Rena snaps, "She was with Theresa when she got kidnapped." "Wh-what?" Ali questions, getting frightened, "What are you talking about?" "The Devious Butler," Rena explains, "He, um... he sent me Theresa's finger this morning. If Liz is with her." Ali's eyes are wide and alarmed. "We have to find them," she says immediately, grabbing her coat. "Assuming they're still alive..." Rena utters, deeply worried, while Ali gets a head-start on him along the driveway.

Josh sits down on Joanna's couch and then immediately springs up again, as though the memory suddenly occurs to him that that was the spot where he was raped. And so he finds an adjacent armchair to slump down into and sigh some, commenting to himself, "I really need to find something else to do." And then, taking a leaf out of his employer's book, he grabs a bottle of wine and a glass (from wherever, really) and pours some out for himself. He's barely two sips in when the doorbell rings, and he sighs even more at having to stand up and go answer it. To his surprise, Ben is there, and Josh greets, "Ohai. Did you wanna carpool to the courthouse or something? I know I know I shouldn't really be drinking but--" "Do you know where I could find Escargot Paella?" Ben asks all of a sudden, drifting into the mansion, and Josh finds himself questioning what his friend just said. "I'd be asking Ali for a recommendation, only she seems to have scarpered off somewhere, and Lord knows where Liz is, and when I tried asking Jennifer all that happened was she decided she'd see how good she'd be as a chef and now she's cooking dinner. So I'm probably gonna have to go put out a few fires when I return home." "How is Jennifer?" Josh wonders, and Ben shrugs, saying that her re-acclimation is a slow but sure process. Josh is glad to hear it, and then Ben re-asks the question he came over to ask, and Josh suggests trying the French place not far from the WIKERLY HILLS sign - "They do special requests. Brad took me on a date there once, and I'm not a big French-food lover." "Me neither," Ben nods, "ever since I dated Justine and she preferred to prepare her own French meals..." Josh shudders at this, still haunted by the horrors of Justine's cooking (see "Gritty Little Liars"), "But she refused to go to any French restaurant in town," Ben continues, "because she was convinced that they were Montrealean impostors." "I don't miss her," Josh says, and Ben nods curtly. "That Dussault blood is evil alright... but hey, what's up with you?" "What do you mean?" Josh wonders, and Ben eyes up the wine glass Josh had started before he came a-knockin'. "Right," Josh realizes, "it's... my mother." "Your mother? Has she called you or something?" "She's in town," Josh reveals, to Ben's surprise, and the British butler goes on to reveal, "I'm not sure I ever mentioned this, 'cause I was... confused, at the time, but she approached me a couple months back and attempted to make amends. I punted her off." "Understandable," Ben nods, "I mean, she didn't even turn up to your wedding." "I know!" Josh exclaims. "But..." Ben continues, and Josh frowns, asking, "What?" "She did come all the way to America to say she's sorry... and if she's still here, then her hotel bills must be--" "She rented a place." "Whoa..." Ben utters, "Dedicated." "So what if she's dedicated now?" Josh exclaims angrily, "I don't need a mother now! I needed a mother when I was sixteen and had no home to speak of!" "It was bad, what she did," Ben agrees, "Really, it was. But so was what Joanna did to you, and you managed to make up with her..." "That's different." Ben raises an eyebrow, as if to ask why, and Josh yells, "It just is! My mother never... she didn't..." He can't quite get the words out through his sadness and rage, and Ben points out, "It seems like the two of you have a lot you need to talk about. I think it would help you, after all you've been through. And if she's finally willing to listen..." Josh lets out his biggest sigh yet, bemoaning, "Fake Brad never gave me this kind of crap." "Josh--" "I know!" he exclaims, then more softly, "I know. I have to talk to her eventually, it's just... the idea of forgiving her..." "You'll always regret it if you don't," Ben points out, "Your mother won't be around forever. And you of all people should know what it's like to regret not saying everything you need to say before it's too late." He pats Josh on the shoulder, and Josh nods, picking up the wine glass and going to pour the contents down the kitchen drain. "After the court date," he nods, turning to Ben, "Will you drive me?" "Sorry," Ben responds, "I have a paella to go find. I hope. But I should meet you there." The two then bid each other goodbye, and Josh gives Ben thanks for his counsel.

"Why are we going in here?" Ali demands to know as Rena leads her into and through the Montgomery house, all the way to his bedroom, and he explains, "So I can do this." He then plugs Theresa's phone into a charger, allowing some much-needed battery power to flood into it, and Ali wonders how charging his phone could be more important than rounding in on the whereabouts of her girlfriend and his sister. Rena explains that this is his sister's phone, which he figures she lost - "There might be something important on it, I just wanna check." "It's a waste of time," Ali begins to weep, but Rena tells her that it's all they've got. "In the meantime," he suggests, "pore over that." He gestures the big board on his wall, on which, written in glitter, are the words "RENATO'S SHRINE" and all the information and misinformation he was ever able to gather about the Devious Butler. Which, admittedly, is little of anything useful. Sure is pretty, though. Trying to calm her nerves, Ali decides to look over it, and soon says, "All I can gather from this thing is that the Devious Butler most certainly is not Dr. Strange." "And aren't you glad we know that now?" Rena gloats, still waiting for the lock screen of Theresa's phone to appear, and then Silvia barges on in, dressed very smartly. "Oh, there you are," she exclaims, finally seeing Rena, "I thought maybe you'd drowned under the weight of all the mess in my house." "Nope, still alive, but others may not be for mu--" "Why aren't you dressed?" Silvia then snaps, annoyed, and Rena, confused, fires back, "I am! You sound like Mary..." "Dressed for court," Silvia stresses, "Joe's hearing!" "What hearing?" Rena questions, not having heard about any of this yet, and Silvia looks about ready to smack him around the face. Her hand even moves a little, but Ali steps in and assures Silvia, "We're looking for Liz and Theresa. We fear... something terrible may have happened to them." Silvia had not seen Ali until this point, and goes oddly meek, still not having come to grips with the fact that she pushed this innocent woman down the stairs while pregnant. "Oh..." she utters, stepping back a bit, her smacking hand falling limply to her side, "Well... yes... that's very understandable." Rena raises an eyebrow at this, never having seen his generally-furious employer quite so subdued, and then she pipes up, "Well, they were gonna go looking for the Devious Butler last night... at the funeral home. Slash crematorium." "That makes sense..." Rena utters, "That's where we found the phone and the nail." "Then why the hell aren't we there?!" Ali yells, rather uncharacteristically, and both Rena and Silvia are rather taken aback by the fury that accompanies her worry. Silvia takes this opportunity to leave the room, and Rena avoids answering Ali by snapping Theresa's phone away from the charger, seeing that it's lit up. "Ah," he says in a satisfied tone, punching in the passcode - 5455 - and begins to dig through the apps. "How did you know the passcode?" Ali wonders, trying to calm herself down, and Rena, still digging, distractedly explains that when her found the phone, the 5 and the 4 had the most finger smudges over them. Ali is mildly impressed by his work, and then he finds it. At the very end of her camera roll, past a mound of needless selfies: the video she took while excavating the Devious Butlers' lair. "We should get moving," Ali tells him, and we cut to Ali driving herself and Rena to the funeral home while he watches the video in the passenger seat. She isn't the most experienced driver, added to the fact that she's in a panicked hurry, and so the journey is far from smooth, but Rena doesn't care, too engrossed in the fact - "There are loads of Devious Butlers... and they worship Justine?!!!!" "What?" Ali cries, almost screeching to a halt, but Rena tells her to keep going - and step on it - because now he's reliving the horrifying chase through the graveyard. He's only able to hear it, not seeing much, and Ali is deeply disheartened by her girlfriend's distinctive scream right before the whole thing cuts out. Silence, and then more screeching of brakes as finally they pull up outside the Greenburg place. "This is like, real evidence," Rena finds himself breathing, clutching Theresa's phone tight, "I best keep it well-hidden." "Come on," Ali urges, practically pushing him from the vehicle so that she may get out herself and lock it. She runs up to the doors only to discover that they're locked, getting a little frightened in the setting sun, and she turns to Rena to relay this information via whisper, only he's currently too busy clawing at the earth with his brown hands and shoving the phone into the small hole he's made, right next to a memorial post which reads JASON MONTGOMERY. "Thanks, boss," Rena nods, shoving the earth back on top of the phone, and Ali hisses for him to hurry up. "Coming, coming," he assures, "Just something for the police to find if we don't make it ba--" he trips over another memorial post, which reads ELIJAH DAVIS, and he sarcastically utters, "Thanks, boss," in a huff. Ali, rolling her eyes and finally understanding - thanks to Rena - why rude and belligerent bosses are the way that they are, moves to heave him to his feet, and he thanks her before they reapproach the door together. He tries opening it, but then conclude, "It's locked," and Ali tells him, "I know," through gritted teeth. "Well," Rena shrugs, "I guess I'll go find a back entrance." And then he disappears around the corner, into the dark, before Ali can stop him. She begs of him to wait, but he doesn't seem to have heard her, and the hoot of an owl gives her the creeps. "I thought he was Portuguese," she says to herself, surprised that it wasn't his first thought to just pick the lock, and then she stares at the door and takes a deep breath. "You're doing this for Liz," she whispers to herself, trying to be calm as calm can be. "You're doing this... for Liz." And then bam - with all the force she can muster, Ali kicks the double door, and the both of them concave inward. "Rena!" she tries calling, but he's gone all the way around the back of the building now, so Ali enters with caution. "Liz!" is the next name she calls, "Liz?! Theresa? Liz?" There doesn't seem to be anyone there. She moves slowly. It isn't long before her eyes dart towards the large fireplace. "Hmmm..." she ponders, having seen enough secret passageways in her own house thanks to it having once been occupied by Jorgio, and then she steps onto the dais and starts lifting things from the mantel at random. Finally, she pulls back the candle and a mechanism is plunged into effect, the whole fireplace turning around with Ali on it. And then she's faced with a stairway, heading down into a chamber. Having a more sensible head on her shoulders than either Liz or Theresa, Ali thinks to herself that maybe she should await some sort of backup before excavating what's down there, but then a Devious Butler - having been alarmed by the sound of the doors being kicked in - emerges from the darkness right beside her and pushes her down the stairs. "Ali!" Liz screeches as her girlfriend lands on her hands in front of her, knowing a little something now about surviving a push down the stairs, but she's still severely weakened and on all fours. Breathing heavy, she looks up at her grimy restrained girlfriend, and manages a smile. "Liz..." she utters, and Liz cries, seeing her, begging that she get out while she still can. "I found you..." Ali utters, and then her neck cranes to the chair that's beside Liz, at what Theresa has become, and she lets out a blood-curdling scream of horror. At that moment, a taco-skinned shoe collides with the back of her skull, and the rich blonde is plunged into unconsciousness. "Quiet!" yells a familiar voice from behind another Devious Butler mask, and then the twisted, rubber smile slides right off to reveal the face of Juanita Kwon, so that she may take another bite before again reapplying her shoe. "After all," Juanita continues, "we have guest upstairs. Xiao-Mei! Hector! Fetch more rope!" Mexi-asians scuttle from out of nowhere to begin tying Ali to a spare chair. Liz looks utterly horrified, and Juanita squints at her (or does she?). "Herrooooo," she goes on to exclaim, "Soon time to make you into Kwon burrito." She gestures Theresa, and we now see that there's nothing left for her save for her mutilated torso, covered in blood-drenched clothing, and a dead face now with several of its once-beautiful features missing. A candle flickers over the photograph of Justine. Her grin is triumphant.


Judge Quinnson is seen banging her gavel, exclaiming that court is now in session. Joe has been put on the stand while his lawyer Joanna and D.A. Gregory Keating sit adjacent from one another. Joanna now sees fit to stand, speaking to the judge and the jury, "My client is said to have murdered one Mrs. Rochelle Little; however, anyone who is anyone would know that Joseph DeWar is far from capable of committing such an atrocious act. My hus-- my client, has spent his whole life in Wikerly Hills, or at least in some proximity of it. And his whole life he has spent doing nothing but good. When not working for the police force helping to solve crime after crime, he's worked for the town's elite, helping make their day-to-day lives easier. He's acted as a positive role model for everyone he has met, and he always makes sure his life has some sort of purpose. But don't take my word for it; take the word of the many here today who have come to defend this great man's honor."
We see Lieutenant Huberd, the first to take the stand for the accused. "Joseph DeWar was perhaps the best detective in my 32 years on the force to have ever walked through the doors of the W.H.P.D. It was a damn shame to have to let him go, but despite everything, I can confirm to the people here today that he is no killer. Joe brought justice to the world, more so than I ever could."
"I'm sad to admit that I've not been in Joe's life for long," Silvia Montgomery says, "Despite only being reunited recently, however, I can guarantee that my son is a good man. I'm a firsthand witness to him taking down some mugger who robbed Kathryn Kappelletti, the very woman who's currently dragging his name through the mud because of a crime he most certainly did not commit!"
"I have absolutely no memory of this mugging, and I would like to insist that all you on the jury tweet #JosephDeWarIsOverParty on Twitter," Kathryn says, on the stand. Joe, meanwhile, slides down in his seat in disgrace.
We now see Josh taking the stand, the only butler to have actually shown up at this hearing. "Joe's done a lot for me over the course of our friendship," he reveals to those present in the courtroom, "He's been there for me during some really, really dark times. He's helped me through loss; he's even helped get me some justice once or twice, and I'm proud to call him one of my best friends." Joe appears touched by this, but Joanna looks back into the audience, annoyed as she turns to her husband. "Where the hell are Rena and Ben?!" she seethes.
"Mmmmm mm mm," Aliza Little exclaims, "what do I have to say about ole Joey DeWar? Well lemme just say he's really good in the sack. Humongous. And he does this one thing with his tongue where--" "Get to the point, Miss Little," Judge Quinnson growls, growing disgusted by Aliza's testimony. "Yeah, yeah," she exclaims, "Anyways, like others have said, Joe really is a great guy. In all honesty, he's the greatest guy I know. Yeah, he's on trial for mah mama's murder and all, but I really just have this gut feeling that he's innocent. He's been nothing but wonderful to me the entire time that I've known him and, let's be honest, I'm not always the Beyonce that I make myself out to be... sometimes I'm'a Nicki Minaj... so that 'on't make things easy for him, that's for sure. But yeah, he really is a vital asset to the community."
And lastly, Tyson. "Yunno he hasn't thrown up since June 27, 2010? Though it mighta been June 28 because it coulda been after midnight. Still, that's soo cool." Joe facepalms at this while Joanna slides down in her seat, knowing it was a bad idea to put the retard on the stand. Quinnson merely blinks as Tyson continues, "Joe really is a good brother. I mean, it hurt my feelings when he had another brother... also he lashes out sometimes, but other than that he's great." Quinnson furrows a brow at this, and Joe just feels awkward.
"So, your honor, for the most part everyone has nothing but good things to say," Joanna exclaims, slightly annoyed. Gregory Keating now sees fit to stand up, however. "I'd actually like to re-address some points that were made," he says, "Perhaps we should start off with Lieutenant Huberd's testimony." Joe looks confused by this, on the stand again, as Greg turns to him. "It seems to be common knowledge that you were let go of the police force. Would you like to disclose the reasoning behind this?" he asks of Joe. "Oh... um..." he utters, "I had... a bit of a drinking problem, a few years back." "So you're an alcoholic?" "Recovered," Joe clarifies, but Greg points out, "Still, it was enough to get in the way of your work. And you being around criminals all day, solving crime, seems rather dangerous, huh?" "Well I--" "And your foster brother also pointed out you have a bit of a temper? You lash out sometimes?" "Your honor," Joanna tries to intervene, not liking where this is going, but Quinnson states that she's been overruled. "I mean... yeah, sure, sometimes," Joe admits, "but who doesn't?" "Well I don't know about you, but if it were me I'd be more cautious with how I acted towards to my mentally challenged brother." "How is any of this relevant?!" Joanna speaks up, "You're saying that because he can be a little moody at times that he's capable of murder?!" "I'm just saying maybe Mr. DeWar isn't so perfect as everyone is trying to make him out to be." Greg turns to Joe, "Maybe you're flawed just like everyone else, but to an even greater extent. Maybe being the perfect archetypal hero proved to be too much for you and you snapped. You sure couldn't handle being a cop. Maybe being a butler was too much for you as well? Tell me, Mr. DeWar, how was it working for the deceased Mrs. Little? Was she a kind boss?" "We had our disagreements..." Joe replies, and Greg chuckles. "Having read up, I learned that you certainly had some... disagreements with her son, the late Emmanuel. Perhaps things spiraled from that? The death of Rochelle's son wasn't enough for you, so maybe you were picking off the rest of the family one by one?" "Your honor!" Joanna begs, but Quinnson denies her. "Listen, Rochelle Little was no friend of mine, and I did not shed a tear when learning she was dead," Joe makes clear, "but I'm no killer. We parted ways. I was moving on with my life, and I assume she was moving on with hers. Her death... I don't know what to tell you, but it wasn't me!" "That's exactly what someone who was guilty would say," Greg retaliates, but Joe scoffs, "This is what's wrong with this town. Everyone here is so God damn incompetent that no one can realize the truth. Always arresting the wrong people; always ten steps behind the true culprits of all the crime happening all over the place. Hell, there's so much going on here that I'm sure the whole dumbass force is unaware of. Meanwhile, you people have me here, grilling me for supposedly killing some old woman I worked for forever ago who I've had nothing to do with for the longest time now. I'm sure there's an abundant lack of evidence, but no one wants to admit that because it'd only make the force look worse than it already is. No, charging me would be much easier because then everyone could move on with their poor, simple lives, believing justice has been gained and that everything is all good and fine again. Well everything isn't good and fine, and it never will be because no one is focusing on any of the real issues at hand. Everyone has their heads shoved so far up their asses that it's just impossible for them to see the truth anymore, but I suppose there's no longer a damn thing I can do about it. You gonna arrest me?! Then arrest me!" The entire courtroom is left in pure shock. Silence has taken over. Jaws are dropped. Finally, however, Greg cracks a smirk. "That's quite a temper you've got there, Mr. DeWar. Seems to me you're more than capable of murder." Joanna slides down in her seat, hope becoming further lost, and Joe is coming to understand that this problem won't be going away so easily.

"Aaah!" Rena exclaims as he falls over the other side of a fence at the back of the funeral home, having attempted to elegantly climb over it; but then, as he dusts himself off, he also exclaims, "Aha!" as he indeed discovers the crematorium's rear entrance. "Not the first time I've had to use the backdoor," the Portuguese butler nods to himself as he attempts to open it, and, to his fortune, it's unlocked. The Sun has fully set now, the last of the orange horizon fading from the nearby graveyard, and Rena finds himself blinded in the dark. "Light, light, light," he whispers to himself, his hands spread out, searching for a switch; and then he feels something dangling from the ceiling, like a bathroom light, and so he pulls it. But no light turns on. Instead, something hard and heavy is heard slumping to the floor, and Rena lets out a tiny squeal, jumping backwards into the wall. To his luck, he jumps right into the light switch, and a few old bulbs flicker on, lighting the place dimly. It's then that Rena looks down, letting out a girlish squeal as he comes to realize that the thing that just fell from the ceiling in front of him... is a headless body, with him having yanked down on the tie. "Oh, my--" Rena starts to say as he looks up at the place from where the body fell, but he's unable to finish his exclamation thanks to the severed head of Elijah Davis promptly falling in the wake of the body it used to be attached to and bouncing right off the butler's brown nose. He howls in pain and fear, watching as his former employer's head goes rolling around the corner, and Rena clutches his face now as, slowly, he starts to turn the corner as well. "If this is broken and I die like this, I'm gonna make sure all the chicks in heaven cheat on you with me as well," he hisses, nasally so, but all that awaits him around the corner, aside from Eli's still-rolling head, is more sights for screaming. The head finally comes to a halt when it reaches the knee of Jason Montgomery, which is sitting up against the wall as though bored - it's almost easy to forget that his face is entirely melted and unrecognizable. In fact, it's the fact that he's unrecognizable which makes him recognizable, and Rena utters, "I'm gonna hurl," as he slowly walks up to his other former employer, "No offense, Mr. M." He keeps moving, past the coffins of the backroom and cremation machines to one side, and notices, nestled between a couple of would-be tombs, that Liz's dead body has been displayed. Sprawled spread-eagle with her head down, Rena lets out a cry of horror and yells, "We're too late!", quickly running to Liz to see if there are any signs of a pulse. However, as he lifts her head to place his fingers to one side of her neck, he sees that it's merely Liz's stunt double, and so he just goes, "Oh," and leaves her there. Her neck bones are heard cracking a little due to the suddenness with which he lets go, as her head re-droops. Rena keeps moving, into another room - the front room, where Emilia's desk was and the fireplace leading down into the chamber still roars. In fact, Emilia's dead body has been sat behind her desk, looking up, with the feather duster having been stuck back into her mouth like some sort of grotesque ornament. Rena shudders, looking away, which is when he sees Nicole Arbour hiding behind a potted-plant, her corpse having been positioned so that she looks like she's munching on some of the leaves. Rena lets out another cry of shock and recoils upon seeing it, and that's when it happens. SPLAT. Something else has fallen from the ceiling, and Rena really does hurl this time, right into the soil of the potted plant that Nicole is "eating". On the floor in front of him lies the mangled remains of Ben and Val's miscarried fetus, apparently having been stolen from the hospital, and Rena can't help but let out several loud and tearful whimpers as he comes to realize just what it is. The sound of stone grinding against brick is able to distract him, and he looks up to see the fireplace passageway spinning around. Juanita Kwon is now standing upon the dais, having changed out of her Devious Butler suit and into a proper maid's uniform, apron and all. Although, it is a little bloodstained. "Herrooo," she greets Rena, who is stunned beyond all belief, "We've been expecting you." "You?" Rena finds himself able to utter, still shivering, wiping his mouth some; he doesn't quite know how to react when Juanita just nods, and so he fires off another, more pointed, "You?!" "Shì," she responds, "sí, yes." "I... I don't understand..." "I no surprised," Juanita shrugs, casually strolling over to the desk where Emilia is sitting and ringing the little bell as though bored, "You are butler, after all. All butlers in Wikerly Hills, you probably dumbest. It funny, reary." Rena makes a few dry-heaving noises, and Juanita asks him, "Can I get you anything? Water? Medicine? Hatchet in skull? See, I am good and helpful maid. Not that that has mattered in long time." "You said..." Rena finds his voice, stepping over the fetus in front of him and trying his best to ignore its horrifying presence, "We've been expecting--" "Yes," Juanita nods, "The others are down below. I summon them here, for the grand unveiling - and the place is decorated nice, don't you think?" she gestures the dead bodies everywhere (a few stragglers from the Halloween party are also displayed, along with sprinklings from Kerwin Kappelletti's face), "I do it quick. I am grand hostess too. While you can't even scrub toilet, pig." She spits onto the ground in front of him and he flinches, whimpering, "Justine." Juanita raises an eyebrow at this, and he finds his voice again, "You lot worship... Justine..." "Justine was good friend," Juanita smiles, and we flash back...
...Juanita and Justine eating lunch together at the park, back when there was a park at the end of Fanon Drive, with Justine droning on endlessly, "Just stand cannot I that wretched, wretched Jose. Always skulking around Matthew, so no words I can fit in with him! And the crepes! Les tapes! Nightmare!! Cauchemar!!" Juanita nods along, munching on some sort of rice-stuffed fajita, telling her friend, "You should do him a kill." Justine raises an eyebrow at this, thinking Juanita a little crazy, but shrugs it off because she doesn't exactly have anyone else to go and spend time with. "We should do Kwon Mexiental for next lunch," Juanita then says, but Justine is unsure, wondering why they can't go to one of the new French restaurants which has opened up in town, but Juanita tells her, "Have you no hear? They posers from Montreal!" Justine lets out a gasp of horror.
"We spend lots of time together, when she alive." "I did always wonder where she went and had lunch when me and the guys hung out..." Rena ponders, and Juanita continues, "I just couldn't believe it. I mean, I was kind of joking, but then she actually do it!" "Do what?" Rena asks cautiously, and Juanita again spits, "You butlers had been stealing our jobs for too long! Too long! Ever since wine-guzzling whore fire Justine for the blond pussyboy! And how were us maids supposed to find work after that?! It was a trend!"
Juanita is seen knocking on the door of the Davis house, back when it was the Davis house, and Justine answers. "Bonjour!" she excitedly exclaims. "Herro and a-hola," Juanita beams, explaining that she's here to interview for the open servant position. "No, no, no," Liz exclaims as she barges past, practically pushing Eli from his breakfast stool, "Maids are out, remember?" She glares at Justine, who backs away furiously, and tells Juanita, "Sorry, dear. But we're looking for a butler." She slams the door in Juanita's face, and then turns to Justine on the other side. "Of course I don't wanna be doing the interviews myself, because that's effort, and me and Eli are about to head off to Rome anyway," Liz tells her, unaware of how fuming she is at her boss' behavior, "So I'mma pawn it off on you. But make sure you hire a man, okay? A maaaaan," she speaks very slowly and condescendingly, "A - human - with - penis. Oui?" "Oui," Justine repeats, nearly spitting fire, "of course, Mrs. Liz."
"You get hired, despite lack of skill, and I never get job anywhere! And I is great!" Juanita complains to Rena, who right now is doing some thinking back of his own.
The night that Justine explained to him and the others the story behind Jose's murder, waving a gun at them all atop a Del Barrio balcony - "And then she slander maids! After that, no luck for me to get a job anywhere! Wikerly Hills became all butler this and butler that! Awful!" (see "Drop Dead Devious")
"But then," Juanita continues, "oh, but then... Justine do what I never dreamed! I mean, I just say it as joke, reary! But I saw about that horrible devious butler Jose dying on news, and I knew... I knew Justine finally snapped. A maid fought back against the rising tide of butlers - such a beautiful thing!"
Juanita and her vast multicultural family are seen living in the same homeless area where Josh found Juan, watching a news story on a stolen phone. Seeing the headline that a butler's been murdered, Juanita nearly cums with excitement. "Good girl," she happily snaps, then smacking a little Spanish boy upside the head for trying to hog her blanket.
"You knew... about Justine, and Jose?" Rena questions, surprised, and Juanita assures, "Me smart. Me put two and two together. Something you be failing at in your little" - she scoffs - "investigation." "But it didn't do anything," Rena points out, "I mean, butlers were still the norm, weren't they?" "I know!" Juanita shrieks, spitting yet again, "I try to reach out to former maids, see if they could understand my plight, but no! No dice!"
"Sorry not sorry," Rochelle Little tells Juanita, still in her wheelchair, "I just ain't lookin' for help." "But you needs it!" Juanita cries, "You in chair! You no move proper! Me help! ME HELP!" "That's my good-for-nuffin-children's job," Rochelle assures, then crying out, "ALIZA! See this hunni out." Aliza comes trudging down the stairs, annoyed. "Mama, wotchu hollarin' at me for? I was tryin' out mah new vibrator! It's even better than Antwon at--" Rochelle cuts her off, repeating her instruction, and Aliza rolls her eyes, promptly showing Juanita the door. "No offense or anything," Aliza tells her before she leaves, "I want Mama to have someone around to help - yunno, so I dun't gotta - it's just..." "You can persuade her to hire?" Juanita exclaims hopefully, and Aliza tells her, "That's the thing... Manny and I, well, mainly I... I'm gonna convince her to hire... someone... I can bang." "You bang me! Me lesbian!!" Juanita insists, and Aliza apologizes, saying a lawyer already called about sending over some "butler booty" (see "Tedious Maids"), before shutting her out.
"Only reason I no starve is because kind, kind undertaker's wife - she take me in!" Juanita goes on, Rena still listening intently.
It's a dark and stormy night in the past and Juanita is wandering the streets just outside the Greenberg Funeral Home & Crematorium; inside, Emilia Greenberg notices this and says something to her husband, who's busy working. She decides to go and help the poor girl, blasting herself outside and beckoning Juanita in from the cold.
"Emilia so kind... so generous..." Rena looks to the dead woman behind the desk with the feather duster sticking out of her mouth, and asks, "Then why'd you kill her?" "Me get there!" Juanita screeches, "Typical butler attitude - so impatient! UGH! Pig. Anyway, I work for Miss Greenburg here, having my fun, earning little side-money, but not enough to sustain me, nor my family, proper..."
We see Juanita working in the backroom of the funeral home. Mr. Greenberg tells her to mail the ashes of Matthew Winters - for they've finally been able to find them - to his widow right away, and Juanita gasps, "Winters?!" as she stares down at the urn containing Matthew's remains. She gets to writing out the address, then, out of spite for the woman who caused her to be jobless for so long, she jots down the wrong house number, meaning it ends up at the Del Barrio place instead (see "Drop Dead Devious").
"So I still job hunt, getting jobs here and here," Juanita goes on, "Interview for Miss Del Barrio, but no, dumb bitch Val get job instead (see "Malice in Workerland"). Working gala for blue shemale ladyboy person (see "The Little Spy Maid"). Mr. Eli briefly (see "Landlady and the Tramp"). Other, other, other. And then Mr. Greenberg bite dust when some church exploded near him, and blue shemale ladyboy person bite dust too when some other church exploded near zer, and Mrs. Greenberg - so lonely - she move into her house, and she invite us to live there with her! All me, my family - everyone!"
Juanita and her entire extensive family are seen filing on into the Greenberg house, now the Montgomery house, formerly the Washington house.
"As I understand it, you live there now," Juanita spits again, "And you got that job at the Davises'," she spits, "Justine always hated you," she spits a third time. "Is that what this is? Avenging Justine?" Rena wonders, "Because you're not the only maid who--" Juanita shrugs at this, saying, "Justine was good friend, a revolutionary, but she also pretty evil. No shock she had enemies who do her in. I moved on, merely carrying out her legacy." "Her legacy? But... you haven't been killing butlers..." Rena points out. "Killing butlers wouldn't have been enough!" Juanita screeches, "We needed to make people hate them! Fire them! Fear them!" "So you dressed up as a butler..." Rena utters, "And went on a killing spree..." "After your new boss evicted us, yes..."
We flash back to Jason having a little chat with Emilia, convincing her and the entire family she's housing to leave the premises to make way for himself and Silvia (see "...Baby One More Crime").
"We started by killing a few bosses, hoping the other bosses would get scared their butlers turn on them too, not want the stigma!"
Juanita is seen arriving at the dinner party, ready to serve Silvia and Jason - she's seen glaring at Jason, still hating him. She begins siphoning off Chardonnay for the strength to do this, putting it into a flask drawn from her ridiculously over-sized bag, and we now see that that bag contains the Devious Butler costume. It isn't long before Val shows up with an ax - for, according to Kathryn, she was asked to chop down an ugly apple tree in the back yard, and Val tosses the ax to one side before entering. Later, with the party progressing, Juanita can be seen sneaking silverware into her apron and sneaking it out the door... which is where the ax is still lying... and then we see her using it to chop off the ends of a mop, sharpening it up good and proper. And then, while Eli is on his way to the bathroom, she strikes, fully dressed up in her mask, using the sharpened mop to rip his head from his body. It is she who stuffs the apple into his mouth and places it onto the salver, slipping away all in time for it to be served by none other than the butler standing before her in the present day (see "Kill n Tell").
"You made me serve Eli's head on a platter..." Rena recalls, disgusted, and Juanita snickers, saying, "I struck him first because he seemed least relevant employer in all of Wikerly Hills. And thanks for exposing the video - the press dubbing us 'The Devious Butler' - best thing ever! Our plan was working! Of course... some murders were more personal than others..."
We see Emilia sliding on the Devious Butler mask, and sneaking into the Montgomery house while Joe and Silvia are upstairs. She catches Jason unawares, seizing the iron, and screams, "This is for kicking us out, bitch!" before shoving down his head and melting his face (see "Shine to Five").
"And the wrong Mrs. Liz was gotten..."
Some rando Butler is shown pouring the bleach down the stunt double's throat (see "Manservant in the Mirror").
"And we didn't really want Maria Solano on our backs - she so famous, too much attention - and we heard she was pimping out her studio to ward us away so... we cool it, for a bit." "That's why there were no murders for a while? You were scared of Mary's attention?" Juanita shrugs at this, stating, "Even serial killers have limits. Plus we all a big fan. But butlers stopped getting fired after that, so we started up again, and RIP Nicole..."
"This is for Dear Taxi Drivers..." Juanita whispers into her ear as she pulls the zip-loc bag over her head, forcing her to crash.
"And I seized the opportunity for another piece of payback - I thought about getting Valentina, a maid who despises butler, to join our cause. But no. She stole Del Barrio job from me - good job - and so I made her suffer the hard way instead." Rena suddenly becomes very aware of the dead fetus behind him, and then...
...he has flashes of discovering Val, bleeding from the stomach, out in the middle of the road after Josh's welcome back party. We see him sneaking the fire poker away from the scene of the crime (see "Eye of the Dryer").
"Wait a minute," Rena halts, "But... how did you get all these bodies here? Jason's in an urn at Silvia's place..." "Is he?" Juanita smiles deviously.
We see her after Jason's body was brought in to the funeral home, and she swaps the ashes for remnants from the inside of her vacuum, delivering that to Silvia instead.
"Working here had its uses. We got to keep every trophy. Sneaking into hospital to steal that," she points to the fetus, "was hard, and that's where I think dear, sweet Miss Greenberg drew her line... the baby death. She wanted out after that. To throw down her mask. Shame my family couldn't be having any of that. And so... yeah."
Once again we see Emilia being choked to death by a feather duster, right before the Devious Butlers leave for the Halloween party. At the Halloween party, the dragon Juanita - knowing what is to come - sees Joanna and Joe trying to get in, and decides to go and help. "Maybe she gets slaughtered with the rest of them." Later, still during the party, Juanita texts the other Butlers to tell them when to strike (see "Eye of the Dryer").
"We caused some real mayhem though. I like to think we did it for her. It's just sad she defied us," Juanita sighs, looking genuinely sad. "Well, it's done," Rena points out, "My friends and I are the last butlers left in Wikerly Hills with a job. Mary said so. You succeeded in your little mission." "No..." Juanita hisses, "You just said, you remain. You... the butler Justine hated the most... and now I will finally be able to be like her... and dispose of you." Rena takes a step back, afraid, while Juanita pulls something from behind the desk where Emilia's body still sits - the same sharpened mop she used to behead Eli. She begins approaching Rena with it, and finally, tears in his eyes, having been distracted from the pure shock of everything, he thinks to ask, "Where's Theresa?!" "Down below," Juanita smiles, "With some other friends of yours... I said I was good hostess, my family making them nice and" - she smiles, trying to copy Justine's famous squinty-eyed smile (not that she has to try much to squint her eyes) - "comfortable." "What have you done with her..." "We were gonna chop them up for info," Juanita smiles, "My family wanted to slaughter them like others, but one reported that your sister, she film our base, and we needed to know where evidence lie, so we cut her up piece by piece. And when we done with her, we move on to ginger - your ex-dominatrix, see if you care for that when your sister is boiling away in a vat in Kwon Mexiental, just like the bits from all these bodies. We knew you wanted to expose us. We thought we have some fun. Did you enjoy my little parcel, Pig?" Rena is weeping, demanding to know, "Is she okay?" Juanita just laughs at this though, shouting, "Enough talk... first I kill you... then we move onto our big target... the woman who begin all this... Joanna Winters..." "No!" Rena exclaims as Juanita raises the mop, "I have the evidence!" Juanita freezes, having been about to run him through, and demands to know what he means. "Theresa's phone," he explains, "With the recordings on it, of your headquarters... I know where it is. I hid it." "Tell me," Juanita hisses, and Rena asks her, "Now why in the absolute hell would I--" She whacks him around the head with the blunt of the mop, plunging him into unconsciousness.
When Rena awakes, all is dark, and he finds himself shuddering. "What... what have you done to me?" he asks, and Juanita's voice booms through the darkness, "You are somewhere - for safekeeping..." Rena tries moving, only to end up whacking his head, and Juanita laughs, and then a tapping noise disturbs him. We see from the outside that Juanita is furiously banging on a coffin in the backroom with her mop, having shut Rena inside by weighing down the lid with various baskets of cleaning supplies. He begins to cry, and she laughs some more, assuring, "You can come out again, see me face to face... when you say where phone is..." "No, honestly, I feel safer in here," Rena shouts, trying his best to be brave, and Juanita starts banging on the edge of the coffin some more. "Where's Therea?!" Rena finds himself shouting, but the banging doesn't stop.
Down in the chamber, Theresa's horribly, torn-apart face shines in the candlelight while the rest of the Devious Butlers all sit around the large, council-like, circular table, chanting around the shrine to Justine. "What are they doing?" Ali asks meekly, tied to a chair next to Liz, and Liz, frightened both for herself and her girlfriend, mutters, "Praying, I think."
Up above, Juanita demands to know, "Where phone?!" and gives the coffin a swift whack. Rena shudders inside, and says, "I'm never telling! I'll die before I reveal it!" "Yes..." Juanita sneers, "Yes. You will." "So you'll open this thing?" Rena begs, "Fight this out?" "No," Juanita insists, "I think you forget - of course you do, dumb butler - that this isn't just home for bodies. This crematorium." Rena's breathing heavily now, scared - and the air's wearing thin as it is. "You tell me where phone is," her hand nears a mechanism, "And I don't send you into fire, to roast like the pig you are." Rena cries, banging on the lid of the coffin with his fists, trying his best to budge it, but it's no use. And then the horrible sounds of wood scratching against wood, as Juanita plunges the sharpened end of the mop into the side of the coffin, beginning to scratch something out. Words.
One of the Devious Butlers is dejected from the table, being handed a knife, the others all pointing to Ali and Liz. "Uh oh," Liz utters, turning away from them, then looking frantically at Ali and telling her, "Whatever they do to me... just... don't watch, okay? You just focus on... on getting rescued. 'Cause you are... you're gonna get out of here... you're gonna be just fine... you're gonna..." She stops talking thanks to the Devious Butler's footsteps drawing closer, and Ali can't respond because she's crying too hard. And then, the Devious Butler is standing before them, the both of them shuddering, and Liz yells at it, "Get it over with!" She expects for it to start by cutting off her finger... but it's Ali's hand that he grabs, and Liz screams, "No... NO!"
Juanita finishes her carving. PORTUGUESE PIG is now etched crudely into the side of the coffin where Rena remains trapped, and she giggles like a little schoolgirl, delighted with herself. Rena is still running low on air, for his breath remains heavy with fear, and he says, "You won't really burn me... will you?" "After all you've heard tonight," Juanita points out, twirling the sharpened mop like a baton, "You reary think I would not?" "I... I..." Rena weeps, and then she whacks the lid of the coffin once again, making him shudder some more. "WHERE. IS. PHONE!!" she demands, and finally, his face flooding, Rena wails, "Jason's memorial! I buried it next to his cross, okay?! Please let me out of here!" "Of course..." Juanita utters, "Mr. Montgomery... tryna screw me one last time..." "So..." Rena weeps hopefully, "Will you... will you open this thing?" Juanita seems surprised to hear such a question, firmly assuring him, "No."
Outside, in the dark, the shadow of someone is seen digging at the earth beside Jason's little memorial cross, and the phone is retrieved. The video is still up, and they hit play.
In the chamber, the knife is measured against Ali's finger, and Liz begs the Devious Butler, "Please... don't!" The others just watch from their seats at the round table, bored if anything, and then the knife is raised... at which point Liz shifts all her weight to the side, and sends both herself and the chair she's tied to flying in front of Ali - to protect her - and that's why Liz ends up sustaining a knife wound to the arm. Ali squeaks through her tears. Liz is on the floor, her chair broken, bleeding, a blade poking out of her flesh. The Devious Butler, now knife-less, stares down at her, shrugging a little. And then the passageway above begins to turn...
Juanita hits a few buttons and the coffin starts to move, a part of the wall opening to reveal a roaring fire beyond. "Wha-- No!" Rena cries, banging on the lid some more, "No! Please! PLEASE!" Juanita just cackles beyond measure though, watching his container slide, as though on a conveyor-belt, closer and closer to the fire. Rena feels the heat at the foot-end of the coffin and begins to jerk them upwards as though to avoid it, weeping and screaming raucously. Juanita loves this though, screaming, "Burn, butler, burn!" And then... "The only one who's going to be burning is you, when they plug your ass into the electric chair." Juanita turns around, confused, and there stands none other than Maria Solano, ready to save her boyfriend. Juanita raises the mop in fear. "Mary...?" Rena utters hopefully, as the coffin continues to slowly drift towards the deadly flames.
"Police! Freeze!" yells one of the many officers that Mary brought with her, brandishing firearms as they storm the Devious Butlers' chamber, meaning that Ali and Liz are at last saved, and all the masked killers begin to put their hands up in begrudged surrender.
Juanita tries to whack Mary with the sharpened mop, but Mary grabs it from her and uses her opponent's strength against her, meaning Juanita whacks herself in the head with her own mop. "Why you hitting yourself?" Mary asks, and Rena exclaims, "Could you stop with the fighting quips and save me!" "Right," Mary nods, going towards the cremation machine and pushing some buttons, meaning the conveyor belt stops just short of the coffin hitting the fire, and Rena sighs deeply with relief. "That is what Jose say to Justine!" Juanita weeps, "Triggered!" She tries charging at Mary again, only for Mary to duck, snatching the mop from her and deftly sending Juanita slamming into the wall. And then - "She's in here, officers!" More police storm the room. We see, through the door, Ali and Liz coming up to safety, an ambulance being called to tend to the wound in Liz's arm. "You jumped in front of the knife..." Ali utters, "You... you risked your own life to... to save me..." "Of course I did," Liz responds without a second thought. Eli's head then rolls towards her foot, and she goes, "Huh," bending over to pick it up and then casually chucking it to one of the policemen, as though it's a football. And then she and Ali watch as all the unmasked Mexican/Asians are marched away in handcuffs, one by one emerging from their underground lair. "No! Don't take them! Please! You never take me alive!" Juanita insists, removing her apron and attempting to flap the police away from her as though they're a mere draft... at which point they hit her with a taser, and she's sent spasming and urinating to the floor. Mary, at the same time, pushes the cleaning supplies from off of the coffin and opens up the lid, meaning Rena can finally sit up. "Mary..." he utters breathlessly, and she helps him climb out. He accidentally steps on Juanita's spasming hand as he does so, right before it's seized by officers and shoved into a pair of cuffs like the rest of her family. "Need... more... Lemon Pledge..." Juanita utters, dazed and confused, as her arrest takes place. "Maybe the police in this town aren't so useless after all..." Rena utters. "Certainly didn't hurt to call them," Mary smiles at him, "But you're not useless either... you were amazing, finding the Devious Butler..." "I almost died..." "Because you tried to do it alone," Mary sulks, looking down, ashamed, then admitting, "I was wrong... about being independent. Sometimes... sometimes it's okay to ask for help. And you were actually an amazing detective today. You did this town proud. I'm... I'm sorry." "You're sorry?" Rena questions, "You just saved my life! I'd say that more than makes up for--" "I love you," Mary suddenly finds herself saying, immediately planting a kiss on the butler, and Rena, suffering a bit of mood whiplash in the form of a smile, assures that he loves her too. He then asks how she was able to find him, and she explains that, when he handed her his phone upon discovering Theresa's earlier in the graveyard, she quickly installed the same tracker app that he placed on Theresa.
We flash back to Mary commenting how cool the app is and how she should get one for Rena, and then the moment she mentioned, mere hours ago. Rena seeing Theresa's phone amid the graves and thrusting his own, still unlocked, into Mary's grip. She shrugs and gets installing before having to give it back, for it's not long before he says he's on his way to see Liz. It's this that makes Mary steadfast on going through with it.
"I have trust issues," she shrugs, and Rena smiles again, but then frowns. "Theresa..." he utters, "Where is--" He moves through the door, where Juanita is being dragged away by cops, and sees her... Theresa... or, what's left of her... being carried out from the chamber in various bags. The other corpses are being bagged up and taken away too. "No," Rena screams, dropping to his knees immediately, "N-n... NOOOOOOO!" "Rena, what--" Mary starts as she too emerges from the cremation room, and then she sees it too, and can't even begin to think of how she's going to comfort the man she loves.
Outside, as the ambulance finally shows up and Juanita, along with the rest of the Butlers, is shoved into the back of a cop car, a man is seen removing his own Devious Butler mask and throwing it into a bush. "Thank God I was late for tonight's meeting," comments Dr. Strange before strolling away, whistling casually.

"Val!" Ben exclaims, re-entering the Von Trump mansion with a to-go box in his hand, "I searched all over town and finally I found your--" but upon entering the living room, he finds Val in bed, Kathryn lying next to her, the two of them each eating escargot paella. "Huh?" Val exclaims, "Oh, did I forget to tell you? Kathryn had her personal chef whip us up some." Ben just drops the to-go box, leaning against the wall and sliding down to the floor in absolute defeat. "We're celebrating!" Kathryn exclaims, "Joseph DeWar is getting a full-on trial. Soon the court will understand he murdered my bestie, and that bastard will go away for life." "Oh, my God..." Ben realizes, "Joe's preliminary hearing was today..." "Did you seriously miss it?" Val chuckles, "Must suck to be you, I guess." Ben looks up at his babymama, annoyed, while Kathryn goes on to say, "The guy's clearly messed up. Went off on the D.A. like yikes. Things really are not looking well for him." She then gets up, "Now if you'll both excuse me, I'm gonna go swallow like a dozen laxatives." With Kathryn now gone, Ben turns to Val. "You did this on purpose," he exclaims, "Why?" "If you mean me making you miss Joe's preliminary hearing, that was just a happy accident. I was just hoping to have some fun sending you on an endless goosechase." "Val, he needed me there! Instead I was so consumed with trying to make your life easier while my best friend could possibly go away forever!" "Why are you fretting so much if Joe's supposedly innocent, hmm?" she questions, jokingly, "Ooh, did you kill her too? Did you help him kill her?" Ben goes meek at this, but Val drops it, her jokey demeanor dropping as well. "I suppose it doesn't matter. I raped you and got away with it. You killed Justine and got away with it." "I didn't kill Ju--" but at this point Ben feels no need to argue her over the subject anymore, "Look, Val, I'm... I'm trying here. I just... I keep trying with you. Christ, we've gone through this so many times now. We fight. We agree to be civil. You grow bored of that and decide to go back to making my life a living hell. Can't we just drop this already?!" "Nahhh," Val says in turn though, having another bite of her escargot paella, and Ben stands up, approaching his babymama. "Haven't we both been through enough?" he utters, "We lost a baby... and somehow you're able to just manipulate that to your advantage?" Val sits there in silence for a moment, and finally she puts down her plate. "Okay," she says, "we lost a baby." "We lost a baby," Ben says in turn. "You're right," she says, "I was pregnant with two babies. Now it's just one. I had two little girls forming inside of me. And now it's just one." "Val--" "I was stabbed in the belly with a fire poker and left to bleed out in the middle of the street," she growls, "Now what the hell do you want me to do about?! You want me to cry?! I have cried! I have mourned! Now I'm trying to accept it and move on, and that means using it like everything else in the world - to get what I want, to further my personal gain. My daughter is dead and she's never coming back, and that's a damn shame. But unlike you, I'm not gonna let it get to me and tear me down." Ben is in tears though, and he reaches up to take Valentina's hands. One last time, he exclaims: "We lost a baby." And then the tears begin to flow as Valentina cracks, unable to hold it in any longer. "And it's not fair!" she cries, "I don't care who I am... what I've done... I didn't deserve this! You didn't deserve this!" she bawls to Ben. "We lost a baby..." he says again to Val, who responds, "We lost a baby..." The whimpering continues as Kathryn rejoins the two, only to immediately turn back around, appalled by the sight of the crying parents. Soon enough though, they each reach for the box of Kleenex, wiping their eyes and nose, getting themselves together. "This changes nothing," Val makes clear to Ben, who is taken aback, "We lost a baby, but... you murdered my sister, and yeah I just can't drop that. I've come too far to just let that go, and now that I've lost a daughter, honestly, I'm just even more determined to expose the truth." Wiping away his tears though, Ben shakes his head. "That's a shame," he says to her, "because all you're doing is standing in the way of your own happiness, and it's this petty revenge plot of yours that's ruining both of our lives." "Like I said," Val points out, "I won't stop until my sister is truly avenged." Ben nods at this, wishing her the best of luck at doing so. "I'm going to go home now," he says, "but I'll be back in the morning. Regardless, you're still carrying my child, and my mission in life is to do whatever it takes to make sure she is happy and healthy. If that means enduring your wrath, then so be it." "Good night, Ben," Val says, ready for the butler to leave her presence. "Good night, Val," he says in turn, setting off. Now alone, Val is left to truly contemplate her actions.

"Thanks for coming with me for this," Josh tells Joanna, the two of them currently sitting in the bar where he and the other butlers often meet during evening times, "I'm surprised my mother agreed to meet me in a place like this, to be honest." "Well, it sounds like she's really serious about the whole making amends thing," Joanna assures, placing a hand on her butler's, "I relate." "I'm sorry about the whole court thing not going great," Josh continues, but Joanna assures, "Honey, that's not your fault. Blame your punk-ass friends who didn't show." Josh smirks, and then stops dead. He notices Regina moving through the evening crowd, rather perturbed by the type of clientele around her, and then she notices him in turn and sits down opposite. "This is a... nice place," she forces herself to say, and Josh rediscovers his smirk, telling her, "No, it's not." "No, it's not, it's horrendous," she admits, "But I'm glad you asked to meet after... earlier." "Yes... well... it's come to light that I was a bit too emotional earlier..." Josh admits, painfully so, and Joanna squeezes his hand a little tighter. Josh then thinks to introduce his mother to the woman sitting next to him - "This is Joanna DeWar, my boss" - and the two of them shake hands across the table. "So..." Josh says awkwardly, "What do you have to, um... say for yourself?" "Say for myself?" Regina questions. "Well... yeah," Josh continues, only for her to point out that she pretty much said all she wanted to say the last time she met with him, after she bailed him out of jail (see "Kill n Tell"). "You were in jail?" Joanna questions. "Long...ish story," Josh responds quickly, and Joanna shrugs it off, allowing Josh to tell his mother that he wasn't exactly... with it, during that period. "Yes, so I've come to understand," Regina nods gravely, "So... I'll recap. I've come to see the error of my ways. While your... lifestyle, may not make me entirely comfortable... it doesn't matter. It's who you are, and you can't help it." Josh scowls a tad at this, and Regina quickly adds, "And nor should you. Because there's nothing wrong with it. I just... I'm an old fashioned woman. And I want you to respect that I'm... trying to change. I really am. When I heard about... what happened... at your wedding..." "The wedding you refused to come to?" Josh recalls, and Regina hangs her head some, admitting, "Yes... Well, still, when I heard... it's like something inside me broke. Like this great maternal need to... to find you. To comfort you. To care for you. All the things I should have been doing all along. It breaks my heart that I haven't been there for you every step of the way - you have no idea how much I regret it - but... I wanna be here now. A part of your life. Or... as much a part as you'll allow me to be... if you decide to forgive me." Josh takes a deep breath of this, seriously contemplating everything it is she's just said, and suddenly Joanna exclaims, "Holy crap!" "Um, dear," Regina shoots her a look, only for Joanna, who's no longer invested in the situation at all, to exclaim, "No - look!" She gestures the TV behind the bar, and Josh is shocked to see a news story which reveals that Juanita Kwon was in fact the head of a cult of Devious Butlers, and they see Mary comforting Rena who's wrapped in a shock blanket, as well as footage of Liz's stab wound being tended to while Ali sits beside her, worried. "Oh, my God..." Josh utters, "We... we gotta see if they're okay..." Joanna nods at this, and Josh asks his mother if this can wait a while, at which Regina asks how they got to the bar. "Joanna drove," Josh reveals, to which Regina says, "Did she now?" while eyeing up the entirely empty bottle of wine which he only now see was sitting next to Mrs. DeWar this entire time. "I'll drive you both back to Fanon," she assures, "Come on."
Josh and Joanna are next seen spilling out of Regina's car, followed by Regina herself, and see the sirens up the street - Ali and Liz have only just arrived home via police escort, Liz with her arm in a sling. "What happened?" Ben exclaims as he and Jennifer come filing from the house, and then the glum Joe comes bursting from the DeWar mansion as well, seeing his wife and the police cars and asking her if she heard about what happened. "I did," she assures, and then the party go to convene with the Del Barrio mansion-dwellers. "Where's Rena?" Josh wonders, and Liz reveals that he's too distraught to come home, and that Mary's still tending to him. "His sister died," Ali adds glumly, and the other butlers are horrified to hear this. "Theresa?" Ben questions sadly, and Liz nods towards him, looking sorry. "Did you hear?" Silvia asks as she comes bursting onto the scene from the Montgomery house, joining the others, and then she comments, "I just can't believe he actually did it... he actually solved the mystery." "I know," Joe comments, "He did good." There's a small moment of silence, broken by Jennifer, who exclaims, "I'm sorry, so what's goin' on?" "I'll explain it to you inside," Ali assures the Scotswoman, and Josh looks at the two of them, squinting some, as though coming to realize something. "It's so obvious," he comments. The others turn to him, and he gestures Ali and Jennifer. "You need a servant, you need a job... just hire Jennifer as your maid," he tells them. Ali and Jennifer turn to one another, with Ali asking her, "Would that... work for you?" Jennifer shrugs, saying, "Let's see, I guess, Goldilocks." Ali then asks Ben if he'd be okay with it, which breaks him from the train of thought he was set on upon learning of Theresa's demise, and then, as though snapping back to reality, he mildly states that it'll be fine by him. Ali and Jennifer hug, and Josh finds himself saying, "That's what I wanna do." "What is, Joshie?" Regina asks him, having been standing nearby. "Getting Juan that job with Mary... Jennifer and Ali... I've always loved being a butler." "Really?" Regina questions, surprised her son takes such pride in such a remedial profession. "Yes, really," Josh assures, "It's what I trained for, it's what I'm good at, it's what makes me happy... and I wanna help other people be happy." "What are you getting at?" Joanna questions, and Josh tells them, "I think I finally know what I wanna do with my life. To move on... I wanna start a business." "A business?" Regina questions, and Josh nods, "An agency, in fact. To help butlers and maids and gardeners - the whole custodian industry - find work. I could... I could train them, set them up with interviews, I could..." a flood of excitement washes over him, and Joanna congratulates him on figuring out what it is he wants to do, even if it would mean losing him once again as a butler. "I wanna help too," Regina assures; the three of them are a little way away from the main group by now, "In any way that I can." Josh looks his mother up and down, seeing that she genuinely does want to help, and so he responds, "I'd like that. Thank you." Regina smiles at this, and even moreso when her son decides to reach out and embrace her; a sign of the beginning of his forgiveness.

"Local Wikerly Hills maid, Juanita Kwon, exposed as one of the many behind the mask of the Devious Butler. Officials say that Kwon--" but Valentina Cortez turns the TV off, having heard enough. She leans back, taking deep breaths at the revelation behind who was responsible for the murder of her unborn child. "Huh, it's nice that I'm not involved in a scandal for once," Kathryn exclaims, laying next to Val, "Also, I guess that explains who killed Eli. Yay, I guess?"
From outside the Von Trump mansion, one can see a pair of heels clicking against the stone walkway, making their way to the front door. A hand then outstretches, ringing the doorbell.
"Ugh, be a dear and get that?" Kathryn asks of Val, only for the morbidly pregnant maid to shoot her a glare. "Right, right, never mind," she exclaims, "By the way, do you happen to know when it'd be socially acceptable to fire you?" Val simply gives Kathryn the middle finger though, pulling out a bag of chips to start munching on, needing to distract herself from the recent news. Kathryn, meanwhile, makes her way to the front door where she opens it up; however, no one's there. In the distance she can see a car driving off, though she's unable to make out much more than that. Looking around though, she soon notices an envelope pinned to the front door. "To Kathryn", it reads. Intrigued, Kathryn unpins the envelope and heads inside with it, tearing into it and pulling out a letter.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. The groundwork has been laid, and the rest is up to you. All of your answers and the key to Rochelle Little's justice lie in the place that started it all. Mare athei, x.

Kathryn looks up from the letter, shocked, and she rushes back into the living room. "Valentina!" she exclaims, waving the note to hand to her maid and only confidante to read. Val is equally as stunned when reading the contents of the letter, and Kathryn asks, "What does this mean?!" "Well it looks like there's someone else who's also after Joe," Val understands, to which Kathryn wonders, "What am I supposed to do about this? Place that started it all?! What?!" Valentina skims over the letter again, thinking for a moment, and then she realizes: "The Del Barrio mansion..." "Huh?" Kathryn doesn't understand the significance, and so Val explains, "That butler that was murdered there, that's what brought Joe to Wikerly Hills to begin with. It's what led to him befriending the other guys, becoming a butler himself, marrying Joanna Winters..." "So does this mean...?" "Rochelle worked for Alison Del Barrio up until her death, correct?" Val inquires, and Kathryn realizes, "Oh, my God... This means Rochelle was killed there." Val nods in confirmation, then going on to reveal, "Which means there's a damn good chance it was documented too." "What?" Kathryn wonders, and Val explains, "Alison Del Barrio has the most highest rated security system money can buy. There's cameras everywhere, which is what led to my downfall there." "But maybe we could get a hold of them... prove Joe killed my best friend," however, Val shakes her head. "If Joe killed Rochelle at the Del Barrio place then I'm willing to bet Ben was in on it too... which would mean the footage is long gone." Kathryn frowns at this, but a smile comes across Val's face. "The footage on the main cameras, at least." "What are you talking about?" Kathryn exclaims, to which Val answers, "During my days as Ms. Del Barrio's maid, I spent my days trying to prove that Ben murdered my sister, Justine, during which time I implanted some bugs here and there. Because I was fired so suddenly, and haven't been in any condition to tackle stairs in any instance I've been back there, I never had the chance to collect them, which means they're still there to this day, picking up everything that goes down in perhaps the most scandalous home in all Wikerly Hills. Get the bugs," she then instructs of Kathryn. "But how?" the rich woman wonders, though very invested now. "I'm unsure," Val admits, "Neither one of us are exactly welcomed there... but I legit cannot walk, so you must find a way. Who knows? This could be our only hope of bringing down those devious butlers..."

Unanswered Questions

  • Did Nadia leave the knife for Joanna? If so, how did she come to suspect the switch?
  • Why did the church explode? Who was behind it?
  • Who paid Rochelle to kidnap Joe?
  • Was Troy involved in the church explosion?
  • Who killed Troy and why did he have Joe's name written on his hand?
  • Who are the Devious Butlers, and why are they murdering people in Wikerly Hills?
  • How was the site of Rochelle's burial known to Nadia?
  • What grand plot is Nadia apparently so busy with?
  • Why was the original Joanna's body being kept in the Von Trump basement?
  • To what extent is the WHPD under Nadia's thumb?
  • Why do the Devious Butlers have a shrine to Justine set up in their lair?
  • What connection exists between Nadia and Kathryn, if any?
  • Where are Val's bugs hidden? What evidence have they been able to pick up?
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